


Dear Agony

by anyapie



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Angst, Confession, F/M, I was sad again okay, MPB puppies, TVD inspired, sacrifice for love, song by breaking benjamin
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-06-07
Updated: 2014-06-07
Packaged: 2018-02-03 18:30:48
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,874
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1754153
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/anyapie/pseuds/anyapie
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Corporal Levi and Mikasa Ackerman were sent to rescue Commander Erwin from the hands of the Military Police Brigade. It looks like they underestimated the MPB and are cornered from the underground. One of them has to get out and distract them. Will they make it back alive?</p>
            </blockquote>





	Dear Agony

**Author's Note:**

> _Suddenly  
>  The lights go out  
> Let forever  
> Drag me down  
> I will fight for one last breath  
> I will fight until the end.  
> \- Dear Agony by Breaking Benjamin_

**RivaMika.**  
Oneshot. Angst.

\-----

"Please don't leave me."

"I don't have a choice, baby."

"You do, you can always make a choice, Levi," she pleaded, her voice trailing off.

"Mikasa. "

Yes. I can always make a choice for myself. But it's not easy most especially when a lot of lives are at stake. I thought I was used to it, used to seeing my men die for humanity. I had grown responsible for many lives in the battlefield. But this time, it's not the gigantic titans who are our enemies anymore; it's humanity against itself.

We're stuck in the underground that connects Wall Sina to Wall Rose. I know this way since I used to come here as I child. Erwin has been in the hands of the MPB and we rescued him from them. Since he’s in a pretty bad shape because he was tortured, it had been difficult for us to take him and escape. The reason why it’s only me and Mikasa is here is because the others went to free Eren and Historia. Following Armin’s plans, we had all agreed that we have to split into two groups. Saying something like, ‘sending the two strongest to rescue Commander Erwin’ or some shit. I understood what he was trying to say now, since the MPB are not bad if not worse. These guys must be the upper classes and are desperate to get their hands on the three of us. If we don't want to be caught by those MPB puppies, then one of us has to get out and entertain them. They can reach us if one of us didn’t buy time; they have to be stopped at the entrance of the tunnel.

I've decided that I would do it.

It's just that she won't agree with me. 

"We can work this out. No one has to die anymore, we're almost there. We will achieve victory," she continued.

"Mikasa," I tried to stop her. From the moment I saw we’re surrounded, I know that this mission wasn't going well. Armin must have miscalculated or I have must have made a wrong decision to get here.

"Erwin may be in a bad shape, but he can still walk. He'll come up with a good plan, I know he would.”

"No." I doubt Erwin could walk faster since his leg is broken.

"We can make it out alive. We can escape Wall Sina and go to Pixis safely. No one has to get out and distract them. Its night so we can't be seen that much. We can hide inside Wall Rose, underground."

"Mikasa..."

"Please, please don't go. Please..." she chocked on the words. She bowed her head, clenched her fists and bit her bottom lip. She's forcing herself not to cry.

I don't know what to tell her to make her snap out of her senses. Her emotions are clouding her objective again. The time when I saw her like this is back when Eren was taken by the female titan. I told her time and again to control them when it comes to missions; and in fact, she did. This is the second time I'm seeing her lack on control when it comes to her feelings. And this time, it's with me.

She sniffed, her shoulders shaking. She brought her hands to cover her face, crying hard to hold back her sobs. I don't want to see her like this. She's a strong woman and yet she's in front of me, crying and begging for me not to go. I took a few steps towards her, as she slumped on the floor. Kneeling on one knee, I held both of her arms with my hands to bring them down on her lap.

"Look at me."

A tear fell from her cheek as she said in a shaky voice, "we can go together. We can distract them... Together." She was looking down on her hands.

"Mikasa. Look at me," I say.

She shook her head and sniffed.

I placed my hands on either side of her face now, gently tilting them up to make her look at me.

"Levi," she whispered. Her eyebrows are furrowed, her eyes clouded with tears and her cheeks are damp. Her lips were trembling.

Seeing her like this is enough to make me question myself. But no - I must carry on with my duty.

"Hush, listen," I coaxed. "You and I both know that we can't die together. You're fit to replace me, fit to continue this mission. If we both die, then this will fail and we've come far enough. We're the only ones left who are strong to help them, Mikasa."

"Levi," she sobbed, and I have to muster enough strength that I have not to change my decision. Even it’s for her.

"I don't want to choose something that will be bad for you, no. Never. I'll do what it takes to keep you alive and well. Not only for myself but for Eren. For everyone."

She seems to be listening now. She was looking into my eyes, being brave enough to do so despite the fact that she was a mess. I know that she doesn't want to be seen like this by anyone; she has always been that strong and skilled soldier.

I know what to say next. My mind is giving way to let my heart speak. If this is the final moment that I'll ever have with her as a living human, I want to confess the feelings I have for her - from my heart.

"You are by far the greatest thing that ever happened to me in my years of existence on this earth. The fact that I get to die knowing that I was loved. Not just by anyone. But by you, Mikasa Ackerman,” it’s my turn to hold back a sob. “Thank you. For making things better and easier for me, for changing my perspective, for bringing me feelings I never thought I would feel,” I continued to say as I wipe her damp cheeks with my thumbs, trying to find my voice. “I never regretted you. Even though I had doubts about myself for keeping you happy, I never regretted loving you."

My chest feels heavy and my throat is tight. But then, I felt proud and contented now, saying those words that I kept inside me. I am not really a man who is good with words when it comes to affection; everyone knows that. Even her. But she never used it against me.

"I love you, Levi. I do, I love you," she said as she held my gaze through wet eyes.

"And I love you most. You know that, don't you? Don't you?"

"Yes, I do."

"Hush. Please stop crying."

"I'm trying," she sniffed, and I can’t hold back a smile. Being tough and stubborn once again. She’s back. 

"Now, live. That's an order from your superior. And a final request from your lover."

I licked my lips dry, breathing in her scent for one last time, savoring it, treasuring it, making it my talisman for my fight. The look in her eyes changed, as if she snapped out of something. I can see roughness and obedience from those subtle eyes, and I can also see that from behind them, she’s still hesitating. That’s my girl. Place your faith in me.

"Live, baby. Take your time. I'll look after you. I'll wait for you. And I know it will be worth it, like it was when I waited for you to come in my life," I hated myself as the last sentence came out a whisper; a chocked sob I was holding back.

"I will,” she sniffed. It was her turn to hold my head in her hands, her eyes lingering on my face as if memorizing it. I did the same, silently etching and carving in my memory every curves and edges. “Sir."

"Smile. That's enough to give me strength and courage."

I know that it’s the truth. I don’t feel shaky anymore, her smile giving me warmth and assurance. Because of that simple, curve from her soft, sweet lips that I tasted countless times, I feel content and confident. It set everything straight for me.

“See you soon, okay?”

"Okay," she replied, her hands cupping mine. 

"I love you, Mikasa."

"I love you, Levi."

Sealing our love with a gentle, passionate kiss, I thought of the moments I had with her even before we got this far. It feels like it’s tearing me apart knowing that this is the last time that I will feel her kiss, hold her close to me, feel her warmth and hear her voice. 

Eye contact; that’s the last thing I had ever done with her as I ran towards the entrance of the underground, finding my way towards the puppies and luring them to me. My mind was half wandering on the thoughts of Mikasa and of a way to get them away from where I came from. My body was quick to obey my command, and I’m surprised to know that it’s moving on its own, recognizing the place where it’s used to moving before.

Strong people have their limits too, and I couldn't feel much when I fell on those stinky, wooden boxes in the alleyway. I’m surrounded with no gas, four more blades and an aching leg. 

“Give it up, Levi,” one of them yelled.

“We’ll feed you to a titan,” said another.

“Well, fucking do it.” _Like I care anymore._

I tried to hold them off for as long as I can, killing almost half of their team which I already lost count. I fought ‘till my arms and legs wore out, ‘till I can’t feel anything anymore, ‘till I can feel the air inside me slowly going away.

They caught me, and it was fine as long as she managed to escape with Erwin.

And like they said, as absurd as it may sound, they are going to feed me to a titan.

There’s a titan behind the walls? 

I can’t fight anymore. It was alright, as long as she’s safe. Hell, I didn’t even know how it feels like to sacrifice yourself to protect the one that you love until that brat. A big hand wrapped around me, and I imagined that it was her warmth, just to comfort myself. I'm kind of scared. Holding the last moment I had with her awhile ago, it gave me courage to face death. Your smile as my talisman. Everything just goes back in a matter of minutes – her expressive eyes, her smart mouth that always pushes me to the edge and at the same time, surprises me, her feminine scent that keeps me company especially during the night, and her voice. Is this what they were talking about? Before death, the last seven minutes of your life is spent by sudden flashbacks.

I don’t regret anything. I did, but not anymore. It was all worth the sacrifices. And now, it’s my turn.

The last thing that I ever thought of was her face and her smile, before darkness enveloped my eyesight and I suddenly felt agonizing pain until I went numb.

**Author's Note:**

> If anyone here watched the season finale of The Vampire Diaries, Levi's words would be familiar to you. And the song just brought more intensity to my feels. ;w;


End file.
